A birdie in the hand is worth two in the bush. Birdies in the bush won’t do you any good. You want them on your scorecard. Which means you have to pay attention and remember what your yardages are for your clubs. And you have to aim your ball at the flag. It sounds simple, but it’s much harder than you think.

Grip it and rip it. A popular saying favored by those with upper body strength. For those of us without sculpted biceps, this philosophy can cause injury. Every time I try to rip one, I usually do something bad to my elbow. Swing easy. Your joints will thank you.

Tee it high and let it fly. This saying is actually true for those driver shots off the tee box. Use a long tee, put the ball just off your front foot and go for it. Reaching ahead for the ball will cause it to sail through the sky. And it will also give you the personal satisfaction of hearing “nice shot” from your playing partners because no matter how many times you get beat around the green, all golfers yearn for that longest drive.

Which brings us to: soar like an eagle. For the most part, I keep my feet on the ground at the course. However, I have played with people who got eagles, and let me tell you, they didn’t soar. They did a happy dance on the green. And it was contagious. So if you’re golfing and someone starts doing the happy dance, it’s cool to join in.

Toe up. This isn’t cocking your toes up, as in dying. This is the position of the toe, or the farthest away from you part of the club face, as you bring it up to 9 o’clock. You want the toe to be pointing up, but if you try to look at it during your backswing, you’ll mess up. Trust me. I know this for a fact. So, what you have to do is think “toe up.” But don’t look. Never look.

Keep your head down. This is one of the dumbest rules in golf. One of the reasons we play this game is to have the satisfaction of seeing our balls scream down the fairway. Golf isn’t just about the physical fun of crushing the ball, or the auditory bonus of hearing solid contact of club and ball. It’s also visual candy, a reward for a club well swung. So, a compromise is needed. Ask someone in your group to keep an eye on your shot. This is especially true if your ball tends to favor the rough or out-of-bounds areas instead of the manicured fairways.

Your score reflects your playing ability. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Your score has nothing to do with your playing ability. It doesn’t reward you for making good contact with the ball 90% of the time. All the score measures is how many times you had to hit the ball to make it go in that tiny hole. Don’t pay any attention to the score, and you will feel much better about your golf game.

Learn the lingo. Golf has its own language. Here are a few examples. A sandy is when you knock it out of a greenside sand trap and you putt it in. But it isn’t a wedgie when your wedge shot holes out. That’s called a chip in. Some people call the traps bunkers. A whiff is the golf equivalent of basketball’s air ball. You don’t want to whiff because that adds to your score without moving the ball forward. You don’t want the yips either. A yipper can’t make a short putt to save her life, but it’s all in her head. Most woods are made of metal alloys these days, but because they were historically wood, the name remains.

Golf is big on tradition and taking turns. The order of play is very important, and the person who goes first off the teebox has honors. You get honors by having a lower score on the previous hole than your opponent. You play honors unless you play ready golf, then it’s whoever is ready, hits first. Men usually gripe that women don’t play ready golf, but I’ve been behind plenty of slow men too. Bottom line: keep a good pace going or folks will complain about your slow play.

The ball has dimples. The club face has grooves. Both of these aspects need to be clean for optimal performance. If you enjoy the social aspect of golf, invest in a string of beads to help you keep score. Otherwise, by the time you reach the green you won’t know how many times you’ve hit the ball. With the bead system, all you’ve got to remember is hit the ball, move a bead. After you hole out, count the beads.

It’s fun to play with your spouse, but it’s way fun to play with a group of golfers who are at your same ability level. Join a golf league. Take some lessons too. Let a PGA certified golf instructor evaluate your swing and give you pointers. It will be the best money you ever spent. (Did I mention my husband is a PGC pro with this certification?)

Check back next month for another golf article!